There was a version of me that believed slowing down meant I was falling behind.
I remember sitting at my desk one evening after hours of work, surrounded by notebooks, tabs still open on my laptop, half-finished ideas floating around my mind, and I caught myself feeling guilty for wanting to stop. Not because I was lazy. Not because I didn’t care enough about my goals. But because my body simply wanted softness. It wanted me to close the laptop, wash my face slowly, make something warm to eat, stretch my body, light a candle, and just exist for a moment without trying to optimise myself into exhaustion.
And for so long, I thought those desires made me weak.
I thought ambitious women were supposed to override themselves. I thought success belonged to the women who could ignore their emotions, suppress their exhaustion, and keep pushing no matter what their body was asking for. I thought discipline meant becoming harder and harder until there was nothing soft left inside you.
But the older I get, the more I realise that mindset is exactly what burns women out.Not because we aren’t capable of working hard. We are. Deeply. In fact, I think women carry an unbelievable amount. We dream big, we care deeply, we overthink, we nurture, we create, we build entire visions for our lives in our minds before anyone else can even see them. The problem isn’t ambition. The problem is that nobody teaches us how to stay connected to ourselves while pursuing it.
And that changes everything.
Because I am ambitious. I want the big dreams. I want to learn deeply, build beautiful things, use my mind fully, and create a life that reflects the vision I carry inside me. There are days I become completely immersed in work because I genuinely love growth. I love understanding myself. I love creating systems. I love becoming better.
But I also love softness. I love slow mornings when the sunlight comes through my window softly and the world feels quiet for a second before everything begins. I love cooking dinner while music plays in the background. I love baking simply because it calms my nervous system. I love moving my body not to punish myself, but because it makes me feel alive again. I love walking without needing it to become productive somehow. I love being present enough to notice my own life while I’m living it.
And somewhere along the journey, I realised these things are not opposing forces. They are the balance. That is the rewiring.
I think a lot of women are trapped inside this belief that they must choose between becoming successful and becoming soft. The world almost encourages it. Hustle culture tells you to disconnect from yourself in order to achieve more, while soft living online is often presented as if ambition itself is something masculine or harmful.
But I don’t think that’s true at all. I think the healthiest women learn how to hold both.
They know how to focus deeply and then rest deeply. They know how to work toward their goals without abandoning their bodies in the process. They understand that softness is not the absence of discipline it is what makes discipline sustainable.
And science actually supports this more than people realise.
When your nervous system remains in constant stress mode for too long, your body stops functioning optimally. Cortisol, your primary stress hormone, was designed to help you survive short-term danger, not live inside permanent pressure. Over time, chronic stress affects sleep, emotional regulation, focus, digestion, creativity, and even your ability to make long-term decisions clearly.
Which is why so many women feel emotionally exhausted even when they’re technically “doing everything right.” They built productivity systems. But they never built nervous system safety.
And your body will always ask for the softness eventually. One way or another.
This is why I believe romanticising your life matters so deeply. Not because life needs to look aesthetic all the time, but because mindfulness changes the way your brain experiences your existence. Presence slows the constant survival response. Beauty creates emotional regulation. Slowness teaches your body that life is not only about performance.
The dancing session while making dinner. The tea you make slowly in the evening. The five quiet minutes standing outside in the morning sun. The music while you clean your room. The moment you stop rushing through your skincare and actually feel your own hands against your face. These things seem small, but they are reminders to your nervous system that life is happening right now, not only in the future version of yourself you are trying to become.
And honestly, I think that awareness is one of the greatest investments a woman can make in herself.
The journey is not always perfect though. I think that’s important to say honestly.
There are still days where I slip into old patterns and feel guilty for resting. Days where I catch myself believing I need to earn softness instead of naturally existing inside it. Days where my mind becomes louder than my body and I push myself too far before I realise I needed a pause.
But mindfulness is not about perfection. It is about awareness. It is the ability to notice yourself before you completely lose yourself. And this takes practice and it takes forgiveness too.
Because healing your relationship with ambition, rest, productivity, femininity, and self-worth is not something that happens overnight. Especially in a world obsessed with quick success, instant gratification, and constant optimisation. We are taught to chase the next thing immediately. Faster results. Faster glow ups. Faster achievements. Faster transformation.
But the most meaningful growth I’ve experienced has been slow. Slow enough for me to actually understand myself along the way.
Slow enough for me to recognise what my body feels like when it’s overwhelmed. Slow enough for me to understand the difference between discipline and self-abandonment. Slow enough for me to realise that becoming your best self is not about constantly fixing yourself it is about learning how to support yourself properly.
And I think that is the real glow up nobody talks about enough. Not becoming harder. Becoming more connected.
There is something incredibly powerful about a woman who can work toward her dreams while still remaining soft enough to enjoy her own life. A woman who allows herself to be ambitious without becoming emotionally disconnected from herself. A woman who understands that rest, beauty, mindfulness, presence, joy, and softness are not distractions from success they are part of the infrastructure that allows success to hold.
You can want the big life and still romanticise the little moments. You can build deeply and still rest deeply. You can be driven and feminine.
Both can exist.
And I truly think learning how to hold both is one of the most worthwhile journeys a woman can take.
✍️ Your Journal prompt for today: In what ways have you been abandoning softness in the pursuit of success and what would it look like to build a life where your ambition and your mindfulness could finally coexist?
xx Ritisha
WellnessGlowClub
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